I drink some milk for breakfast, some nesquick for dessert.
Somebody flip the pancakes, I just brought the sizzurp.
These flapjacks here could drive a sane man berserk.
Not to worry; my Aunt Jemima’s back to wizurck.

How do you feed my mom and give her life support?
Tell her that her son is cookin’ for sport!
And just imagine how my stomach feels:
At the table scared as hell the potatoes aren’t properly peeled.

—  Roux The Wire submitted by zachoxley

Close your eyes and imagine, taste the magic
Frosted like acid,
Baked through till they’re harder than all ya’ll asses
And I’ve surmised that they taste aight, cuz
It take two cups of sugar to keep em right, does
He bake his own recipes, so sort of
I think ‘em
That mean I forgot better shit than u ever thought up
Damn, is he really that caught up?
I ask if you talkin’ bout cream of tarter, does my recipe get brought up?
I remember I couldn’t afford a tea spoon or even an easy-bake-oven
So its only right that I let the batter drop in a pre-heated oven,
- three-hundred fifty degrees is important
If the batter looks nice and u get props from many men
Then your fat friend her nickname is Minivan
Excuse me,
That’s just the sugar, man, I bake I cook, I’m supposed to stop I can’t because…
Cupcakes are forever (forever, forever) —  Cupcakes from Sierra Leone

Why does everything that’s supposed to be bad, always taste so good?
Everything the doc told me not to eat is exactly what i would
I tried to stop man, I tried the best I could but
You make me smile with your tart..ooohhhhh

When I’m in the kitchen,
I get my honey, I get my eggs, I get my cream
And I make cinnamon buns
with not one, not two, but all three
Got some homemade icing that I spread on the top
Just a little taste now, so fatty, your heart wants to stop
Eat the whole thing you won’t move til dawn
Eat this then tell me you prefer Cinnabon.

—  Addiction submitted by distanceheartfonder

With a knife I crimp and fold

The golden crust in pastry mould

Sometime when the dough is rolled

And crust is gold

I will not be tartless

—  Tartless submitted by iamilluminated

I got my knife and its my only one
I got the night, I’m cutting into the bun
No food fight, I kneading out the dough dough dough dough
After egg whites, theres butter to churn
After tonight, I’m making pie a la mode
I’m eating all Rocky Road
And that you know
That you know
Tell everybody that you know
That I don’t cook for you no more
And that’s one thing that you know
That you know… —  Eat You In My Nightmares

Lookin’ at cranberries, I bet they fix my kidney stones
Lookin’ at persimmons, gonna peel ‘em when I get home
Crushin’ grapes, makin’ Rose’ all alone
Double scoop of strawberry ice-cream in my cone
Cherries high in flavinoids, excess is just my character
Love blackcurrants, can’t digest lavendar
I never needed to try Georgia Peaches from South Carolina
Been eatin’ pineapple all day, my mouth tastes like fire —  Thick Ross’ verse on Devil in a Blueberry Dress

About the dopest place i ever seen,
straight up off Food Network’s screen.
Chocolate mouse with chopped pralines,
Eclairs all filled with buttercream.
Up all night on a sugar high.
Everything’s so flaky and it’s never dry.
asked the owner for the recipe one time.
he’d never let me try….oh
Souffle Souffle!
Souffle Souffle!
Please don’t drop it now!
Don’t drop it now!
Parfait!
Parfait Parfait!
I really need to stop it now!
I need to stop it now!
(stop it stop it)
Cuz I don’t want no muffin top.
I’m gonna get a muffin top.
When did this become a muffin top?
It’s lookin like a bellyflop. —  Muffin Top submitted by euthanaasia 

In the night I hear ‘em talk,
The coldest story ever told,
Somewhere along the a la mode
He lost his soul
To a serving so tasteless…
How could it be so tasteless… oh
How could it be so tasteless?

How could you be so,
Cold as my ice drink when it spills yo
Just remember that you’re serving me yo
You need to watch the way you handle that mayo
I mean after all the meals that I ate through
I mean after all the things my teeth bit into
And yo I ate of some things that you served me
And yo I did eat the fillet, it was bony
And now you wanna get me back
And you gon’ show me
So you walk around like your food’s yummy
You got potatoes
with a dash of parsley
But in the end it’s still ain’t tasty

—  Tasteless submitted by novicenovice

They say you can rap about anything except for cheez-its.
That means buns, steak, fries, chocolate shakes.
But if I talk about crackers my record won’t get played? —  Cheez-it Walks submitted by jrod

Plantain dishes, 30 cheese blintzes
I mean the spread is fuckin’ ridiculous
Fuckin’ meticulous, I mean the shit is
Fuckin’ delicious
Five-star quiches, tender barbecue brisket
Man this spread is fuckin’ ridiculous, fuckin’ ridiculous

I’m really happy for you, Tater, and I’mma let you finish…

1 and 2 and 3 and 4
And cook that chicken right and
Roll your crossaints right and
Ice your cupcakes like this

Oven, you must preheat
Get up, defrost the meat

—  New Cookout Plan submitted by trapmyfreedom

itslikethatsometimes asked: Nola got some love from HuffPost
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/01/19/7-sites-you-should-be-wasting_n_810784.html#s225831&title=No_One_Man

that’s the 2nd time this blog has been on huffpo. thanks for the link.

I’ve been washin’ dishes my whole life
My meals be keepin’ me up at night
Souffle, ice cream ain’t never wrong
You know what, just take a bite, aight? —  I Wonder submitted by Bstebner

If my sous chef salts them again, I’m a be assaulting him,

After he left the damn lamb uncut, I had to reduce the heat on the duck,

Send him back, take his chef hat,

Look at his braised pork, who going eat that?

Yea he’s slow, don’t know how to sauce,

So if they return this dish, wasn’t my fault.

—  Glazeshift submitted by Mike J to the tune of Spaceship